It’s extremely important to communicate with each other during any type of bondage whether you’re a pro or a novice. It can help to establish a safe phrase or word. This should be something that you wouldn’t normally say or say by accident during intercourse. Both parties must know the word, and both must understand that when the safe word or phrase is said the session stops immediately. Some people use a traffic light system whereby “Green” means carry on, “Amber” means your enjoying it but warns your partner that your nearing your limits and “Red” meaning all activity must stop immediately.
While bondage is about mixing pain with pleasure, your must always be aware of your partner’s feelings and needs. Spanking is a milder form of pain play, but there are still rules that you need to play by. Communication whether it’s verbal or physically communicated. Watch how your partner reacts to your strokes and tailor them to what he or she is enjoying the most. Things that get a positive reaction can be worked upon.
Preparation is key. You wouldn’t want your lover handcuffed to your bed while frantically looking for the keys to unlock them. It would be a serious mood spoiler. So even though it does sound quite obvious ensure you put the keys in a close to the bed safe place and if possible have another set in another safe place just in case.
Being drunk and bondage just don’t mix. Being drunk you’re unaware of your surroundings, and you’re not fully in control of yourself. While taking a drunken tumble on a dance floor can be embarrassing it’s 100 times worse in the bedroom and mixed with a bit of bondage can be disastrous. Accidents are more likely to happen whilst under the influence, and, however, tempting it may be to start some sex games or how frisky you may have got, it’s always best to leave the bondage to when your sober. You might misjudge how tightly to tie knots or use more force than you normally would on your partner. Your judgement is compromised while drunk, so it’s important to leave the bondage till your sober.
Avoid being turned off or turning your partner off by establishing what turns them on and off and letting them know what your turned on and off by. When you’re totally immersed in sex, it can be so very easy to kill the mood by saying something that your partner doesn’t like or finds offensive or even both.
Once you have the vocab mastered you are ready for the next step. When you’ve only ever had ‘normal’ sex bondage can be quite a huge leap into the unknown so make sure you take things slow. Incorporate bondage slowly, perhaps starts with talking dirty during rough doggy style sex and then add slightly edgier aspects to your play. Hair pulling, nibbling and slapping can all be introduced slowly and lightly while watching closely to see what gets a positive and negative reaction. Anything that gets a positive reaction can be experimented more with.
When it comes to bondage props and toys, it really doesn’t have to be anything expensive. Ties, scarves, rope, ribbon your dressing gown cord can all make the ideal restraints and are all easy to cut with a pair of scissors if needs are. For this reason, you probably shouldn’t use your favourite tie or scarf or anything that’s of any value. Tights and stockings are also good for this but beware that the knots can get extremely tight, and the material can sometimes get extremely uncomfortable and can dig in and cut the skin.
Dressing up in a school girl outfit, Maid costume or even police uniform can add a little something to Bondage play. It can help both your and yours partners bondage dreams come to life without having to shove a gag in your mouth and wear shackles. Dress up is definitely recommended to bondage novices and can most certainly add a little spice to the bedroom.
